7/24/13

And, oh, I'm running to your arms.
I'm running to your arms.
The riches of your love will always be enough.
Nothing compares to your embrace.
Light of the world forever reign.

My heart will sing no other name, Jesus, Jesus.

~~~

"I will not cause pain
    without allowing something new to be born," says the Lord.
-Isaiah 66:9

~~~

This day is hard.

I won't pretend.

My heart is hurting.

Remembering the thoughts flying through my mind exactly one year ago.

"God don't take her. I can't do this without her."

~~~

Hebrews 11:32-35

"And what more shall I say? For time would fail me to tell of Gideon, Barak, Samson, Jephthah, of David and Samuel and the prophets— who through faith conquered kingdoms, enforced justice, obtained promises, stopped the mouths of lions, quenched the power of fire, escaped the edge of the sword, were made strong out of weakness, became mighty in war, put foreign armies to flight. Women received back their dead by resurrection. Some were tortured, refusing to accept release, so that they might rise again to a better life."

~~~

I rest today on the same faith in Hebrews 11.

The one that makes my weaknesses STRONG.

I can do ANYTHING through this faith.

I can find HOPE and JOY on a day of an anniversary of death.

~~~

Today-

she wouldn't want me being sad.

She wouldn't want me to spend my day moping around.

She would want me to LIVE.

John 10:10

"I came that they may have life and have it abundantly."- JESUS.

He wants me to have life. To live. And to live abundantly.

She would want me to celebrate my 16th birthday.

So.

Today I'm going to LIVE.

I'm going to LAUGH with my best friend this afternoon.

I'm going to do just as she would have done.

LIVE ABUNDANTLY.

I've been wanting to write.

This Wednesday is the 24th. Of July.

One year from when she left us.

I didn't know what to write about.

Until yesterday night.

At d*groups when my youth pastor was speaking...

He said something that caught my attention.

"We know as a follower of Christ life won't be easy. We know the tribulations and trials are coming. But are we preparing ourselves for that? Are we getting to a place with our relationship with Christ that when trials come the first thing we think to do is go before the Lord in prayer?"

I couldn't help but think back to this time last year.

I had just gotten back from camp.

Paige was the FIRST person to greet me when I got off the bus. Even before my parents.

We were getting ready for SWTA together.

But...

What if I had been hearing the exact same thing my youth pastor said last night?

Would that have made a difference in my reaction to the next couple of days...

I was probably just thinking, "I don't need to prepare. Because that will never happen to me."

And then it did.

Tragedy hit.

And I questioned God endlessly. I ran to people- not to Him.

Would my life then have been different?

If I would have been preparing for trials...would my reaction have been running to Him?

It just makes me think.

And gives me motivation to prepare for anything else that could come my way.

Because this year has certainly been full of trials.

Constantly something else.

So I'm going to LISTEN this time.

And prepare.


And hold on to all the sweet memories I have of us from those last few days.


What a great comfort it is to know that He has already overcome.

To my wonderful mother...

Just a week ago we celebrated Sonia Grace's birthday...and now we celebrate my mom's birthday. She is the big 40 today! ha...she's getting old.

Many of you know that the past year has not been easy for our family, especially for my mom, nothing life threatening, but life changing. The Lord has challenged us all, but yesterday marked a day that will turn everything around. We have a new beginning, a season of healing for my mom- for all of us. I know that God has placed this in our lives to challenge and strengthen us- not to tear us down.

James 1:17, "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights." He is good and will hold us- no matter what.

From today on- things will be different, God is working in our family. We have a very exciting year ahead of us. Lots of things will be going on. School, camp, Summer With the Arts, and lots more...that I will share later :). God is doing something great AMAZING in our family- I know it. And through this past year of struggles, God has pulled us all through, loving and forgiving us daily.

I am thrilled to see what God has in store for our family in the rest of this year.

Mom- I hope, even though you don't feel too hot, that you have a fantastic birthday. You are such an amazing example of a Godly woman to me and so many others. You have loved people that are not your own, you love them like your children. There are so many people looking up to you, and so many that love you so very much. You are the best mom anyone could ever ask for to me, William, J-man, Sonia and even Amanda. I am amazed at your love for Christ and your trust in Him daily. Thank you for being who you are. I love you.

Your almost oldest daughter :) - Bailey Elizabeth

1 year ago today...

"Guys, I think I'm bleeding."
I had just put my arm through a glass window, shattering all of the glass and tearing my arm up terribly in 3 places. I had no idea that this would be happening. My best friends sat on the floor shocked, almost in tears at one of their homes. They comforted me until my dad got there and took me to the hospital where they stitched me up, total, it was 37 stitches. When I look back on that day, it's not fun. It's actually more scary now than it was then. That night, I was extremely blessed. Extremely. My best friends were there comforting me the whole time, and after I left they were all in tears. Now, I sit at my computer typing this, my arm is fine, I have scars, but I'm fine. When people ask me about them, I just say, "I put my hand through a glass window playing flashlight tag, and had to get 37 stitches." They look shocked.
The day after it happened my dad told the whole church. I got a few cards, and everybody checked on my the next time I was at church. Emily Grace and her mom brought us dinner and milkshakes(thanks guys, you don't know how much all of that means). It was a long recovery, it took about three weeks to completely gain full use in my arm.
Now, I look back on that day, not doubting that God did this for a purpose. As funny as it might be, when I was in the hospital, the medicine they had to use to numb my arm, made me very talkative. That was a blessing, because even though I didn't know it I was telling this Dr. all about God. I told him about my church, my Sunday school class, and my great Christian friends. Now, isn't that cool? So far, thats the only way I have seen God work through this, but I have no doubt that as my life continues I will be able to use this story to tell people how God can work in the bad things in your life, no matter what they are.
And now, 1 year ago today, I look back on this day, and thank God that He is going to be able to continue to use this in my testimony, and use it mainly, for His glory.

~Your Author~Bailey B.~Philippians 4:13~

P.S. I would like to thank all of those who helped me out when all of this was going on. Thank you Emily Grace, Dana, Anna Gray, Lindsay, Mom, Dad, all of those from church that prayed for me, my friends at Classical, and my family. Thank you to you all!