These past two weeks have been hard. Really hard.
I had a migraine for two weeks straight. That was just awesome.
My heart was hurting.
But now- I'm doing much better.
Day #3(sort of) without a headache!
Haven't cried since Tuesday.
Sunday is youth Sunday.
Which means that the youth Praise Band (which I'm in!) will be playing in big church.
We had practice last night. I love it.
We're playing all our money songs, as Trent calls them. Cornerstone. Be Thou My Vision. Revelation Song.
I'm SO pumped.
Last night we were in practice and I was standing at my keyboard as we played "Great I Am."
I was singing at the top of my lungs, praising Him for being the Great I Am.
And it hit me.
I've been thinking about this time last year a lot lately, but last night- I thought about it differently.
I thought about the emotional wreck I was this time last year, the lack of trust I had in God, I wasn't playing in the Praise Band yet, Caroline and I weren't super close like we are now, everytime I heard "Great I Am" I sobbed.
I thought back to today.
I was standing on stage with Caroline, who has become one of my dearest friends, with Trent, who has basically adopted me as his little sister, with Becca and the rest of the band.
And last night I was thankful.
Because it was beautiful.
I was playing and singing with all that I had, praising Him. And this time last year, I couldn't have done that.
But now- I worship with all of me. I praise Him for being the Great I Am.
And even on days when I don't see it, He is Healer. He is the Great I Am. He is the only thing I will ever need.
And for the first time, I realized that this- this is beautiful.
The road He has me on, this journey, this heartache, this Joy in Him, it is beautiful.
It's a different kind of beauty.
But this healing He has brought me, it is indeed beautiful.
"When my sin is all that I can see,
Your grace remains the shelter that I seek.
And when my weakness is all I can give,
Your gentle Spirit gives me strength again.
And oh, the beauty of Your majesty,
On the cross You showed Your love for me...
You're beautiful, my Lord."
This life is full of beauty. May we always take time to find it, to find Him- our Beautiful Lord.