This is what He's doing.

Leadership.

We talked about this at youth group last night. And I've been thinking about it since.

How can I be a better leader?

-being in His Word
-being a servant
-being an Example

But really? How can I live this out every day?

I need to watch my mouth. I need to show them what a godly young woman looks like, even though I'm still learning myself. I need to be in His word...so they will see what the results are. I need to pray continuously for them in their walks with Him.

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Yesterday was the 24th.

9 months since she...I just can't force the words out.

9 months and 1 day since I've heard her voice...or gotten a text...

Yesterday was the first time I REALLY needed her advice.

It was one of the many, many days I've wanted a text...or a hug...or a call.

But it was the first time I truly needed advice.

I need my mentor back.

I need my sister back.

I need my friend back...well she was more than a friend.

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Classical ended Tuesday. We're done...

And I never thought I'd see that day.

It's been a hard, hard year.

But like when mom and I talked, God has shown me that I am capable of doing so much more than I think.

He's taking me to Uganda.

He's given me a best friend who is so supportive it blows me out of the water.

He's brought me Lissa and Megan.

He's given me sweet Harper Elizabeth and her oh-so-beautiful self!

He's given me laughter and joy on days when I thought I was going to have pain in abundance...like yesterday. I laughed all day long, literally.

He's spoken to me in the secret. In the times when I'm by myself with him, right before bed, he's given me a word...one that's just for me.

He's been faithful.

He's shown me that prayer really does work.

He's given me times of rest.

He's given me strength.

He's given me wisdom.

Most of all...He's loved me. And because he loved me...he's gotten me through this year.

In the midst of heartache...

In the midst of hate and anger...

In the middle of brokenness and being lost...

He's held me and gotten me through.

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So these? These are my thoughts from yesterday and today.

My best friends have blessed me so much.

Yesterday(like I already said) we literally laughed all day, then I saw some of my other best friends(who happen to be 35 and 19...haha) and we laughed and laughed. And it was a great day.

Yesterday I expected grieving...He gave me joy- in abundance!

And how grateful I am of that.

This post might have seemed really random.

But everything I've said...or typed...are things God is doing. Things He is telling me.

And if God is doing it...it's worth writing about.

Even if it's sad or depressing.

God is doing it, it's in His plan, and He's calling you to this life.

So I write to show you that even in the shadows and hard places...

He brings you joy and laughter.

He gives you friends who will support you and give you advice along the way.

He is faithful. Always.

And that's what I'm learning.

-Bailey