He is my hope.

I stand on the back porch of the beach house staring out at the ocean.

He is my hope.

Emily and I sit on the beach, a book in each of our hands. Soaking in the sunlight shining on our skin.

He is my hope.

We ride down the road on our bikes to the shopping center to get ice cream. We laugh.

He is my hope.

We go see Little Women the play at the local youth theater. We laugh all the way home. Memories are made. Ones that will never, ever be forgotten.

He is my hope. 

I walk down the beach, my toes barely touching the water. The clouds are pink- cotton candy pink. I think of Lissa's mom. I think of Paige. She would have loved it.

He is my hope.

I hold Harper in my arms. Rocking her to sleep as she cries softly. Paige will never get to meet her. I soak up these moments with her. Because even if I'm not thinking about it now... They're moving. Eventually. And she won't be little forever...they won't be here, close to our home, forever.

He is my hope.

We go into one of the shops. I see the doll we sent her. It was a "Preppy Paige" doll. Completely opposite of who she was is. We sent it because it was funny.

He is my hope.

Sadness fills my heart. I feel cheated. I can't send her pictures of all the beautiful things I'm seeing. I used to share all this with her. Now, well, now I can't.

He is my hope.

I stand beside Lissa in church. Her heart is hurting more than I can imagine today. I hold her sweet girl close to me as we pray.

He is my hope.

I fill out my Summer With the Arts form. Tears come to my eyes. I just think about that week. It makes me sick. And I hurt all over again.

He is my hope.

My birthday without her- again. My 16th of all things. Camp without her. Uganda without her. Summer With the Arts...without her.

He. Is. My. Hope.

Yes. That He is. Always.

HE. IS. MY. HOPE.

Summer thoughts...

I find it incredible that while we are struggling it brings us so much closer to God, and how much more aware we are of other people's difficulties. Don't you?

This past semester, there were tears so many days, all I could do was rely on God to bring me through each day. I had to remember daily this was the plan He had for my life, and everything had a purpose.

And when exams were over and I finished my bible study...I wasn't making time for God, wasn't giving it as much importance as before and most importantly wasn't continually thanking Him for bringing me through such a tough semester.

Yesterday, well actually this has been brewing in my little mind for quite some time, I realized, God brings us through such tough times so that we will grow stronger in Him and grow closer to Him- and after that struggle is over CONTINUE to grow closer to Him.

And so this summer...I'm going to do whatever it takes to grow closer to God. To make sure that when I start next semester I have the fruit of the spirit flowing out of my mouth. To make sure that I continually have the right attitude about school, knowing that God is and always will be by my side.

To make sure that I will always remember this summer, the summer of 2012, as one of spiritual growth and nearness to my Savior. To be able to look back and know that God changed my heart forever this summer, that I grew closer than ever to my Savior and will be ready next semester for whatever challenges he places in front of me.

Lord, 
Use me. Strengthen me. Help me grow in you. Shine your love through me in the words I speak. Help me love you more than I have ever loved you before. Show me your unfathomable love and help me grasp that in every area of my life. Lord, help me love you with an unconditional love, so that I will be prepared for wherever you are going to take me.


~Bailey

What are some of your summer thoughts?

I found it...

While we were at the beach, and since we have gotten home I have read my bible daily, but it has felt the same everyday- and nothing has really been different.

I didn't go to church last Wednesday or Sunday- and I missed it- terribly.

As I stood in youth last night, worshipping God with all that I had- it hit me.

I figured out what I was missing.

I was missing that fellowship with other believers, knowing that they were thinking the same things, they were going through the same struggles as I was. It was the best thing ever.

I have never loved my church, and those in it more than I did last night.

People always tell you how important it is to have those there who will strengthen you- but it won't hit you until God moves in your heart. Like He did in mine yesterday night.

I realized how important it is to have that group of believers around you strengthening you, encouraging you...and I felt the difference when I walked in the church doors. And even though I already knew it was important- it just hit last night, more than it ever had before.

Knowing people that love God the way I do, having them there for you, makes the difference in the world.

So thank you to all of those in my church, not only in my youth group, but in my whole church who are always there supporting me and encouraging me to do my best.

These people mean the world to me, and I couldn't be more grateful to have them beside me as we walk the journey Christ has laid before us together.

~Bailey

It finally hit me...

Until a few days ago, it hadn't really hit me that Christmas was soon. We had our Christmas tree up...our front porch was decorated...the Christmas musical at our church was coming up soon. But I really wasn't in the Christmas spirit...which is very odd for me. It probably didn't help that Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday it was 60 degrees...it was kinda hard to believe it was Christmas time when it was that warm outside.

On Thursday night, getting ready for dress rehearsal for our Christmas musical, William was on the phone, mom was fixing my hair, and we were running around getting ready to leave. And it hit me. Not because our live was crazy...not because we have presents under our tree...I'm not really sure what it was...but it hit me, "It's really Christmas time."

Last night we had a special performance of our musical, invitation only, it was for people who had visited our food pantry in the past year, and ladies from the battered women's shelter. We had about 125 people show up, and we fed them all a sit down dinner of steak, baked-potatoes, and salad. The tables were set up, and we had gift bags with apples, oranges, mints and chocolate in them. As the adult, youth and children's choir were all singing, "I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day", and all of the people watching us...it was Christmas, right then and there...it really felt like Christmas. When we walked out, waiting in the lobby for people to exit, we continued to sing, "Peace on earth, peace on earth, peace on earth, goodwill to men." When they walked out, their faces were cheerful, and they looked so happy to have someone caring about them. And that right there was like giving a Christmas gift. To see them that happy...that's what all of our hard work in practices was for, to touch someones life with the love of Jesus Christ.

Last night, it hit me, that was what Christmas was supposed to be. Sharing God's love by caring for people, telling them the story of Jesus Christ. That's what Christmas is supposed to be about...

Sharing the joy of Christ's birth that we have through this season to those who don't know.

That's Christmas.

~Bailey