This time...these days...

This time...it's hard.

These days...are different.

I don't get text messages from her encouraging me.

No letters from her that make me giddy.

Our relationship, it was different. Yeah, she was my mentor. She was my friend. But she was so much more than that. Even though she was five years older than me- she was one of my best friends. I have my best friend who is my age- Emily Grace...but then I had Paige- my older best friend. And this may sound silly- but she was like a big sister to me.

She was the most perfect big sister any one could ever ask for. She was always there. Always texted me back. Always sent me letters back. Always spent time with me.

And so, most people just saw us as friends. And now, in these days, they see me missing a friend.

They never saw us as sisters; as best friends just because I was so much younger.

But I am missing my sister.

I am missing our relationship.

I am missing my best friend.

There are only very few people who understand.

Emily Grace- my best friend, Melissa, Diane, Mary, Cathy, Jessica, Grace...they all get it.

But it still hurts.

I still miss her. Even though they comfort me.

And these days....I miss my sister, my friend, my mentor...my best friend.

And that's all.

~Bailey