Bring it on.

I've heard it said that the four years in high school are the best years in your life.

I really, really, really hope that's not true.

Cause this year...well here's the low-down, good and bad.

We started with finishing my freshman year (and finishing driver's ed) - hallelujah that's over.

And throughout the year we had d*weekend, spring formal, Sonia's 4th birthday, the beach trip, my sweet niece was born...good gracious I'm smitten with her, so many fun things.

But in the midst of all that same summer time- the best of the year...or it was supposed to be at least.

Camp came first...which was pretty great.

Then came...yeah...Summer with the arts. One of the worst weeks in my life. Not until this summer did I ever imagine that would come out of my mouth.

On Tuesday I woke up and it was a normal day...until I found out she didn't wake up. She was gone. And my life changed forever.

I lost my mentor, one of my best friends, my big sister...I lost such a big part in my life, and so did do many others. And each day, I just find I miss her more and more...and it really hasn't gotten too much easier.

This year has been exhausting, and for once, I'm ready for it to be over.

This year has been the hardest year of my entire life, there have been more tears, more pain, more suffering, than ever.

But surprisingly, I've grown closer to my Savior than ever. I have so many questions...but I'm so much closer to Him...I still am angry, confused at what happened this summer...but I love Him so dearly.

So 2013- all I've got to say is...

Bring. It. On.

This Christmas

Christmas.

That word has always made my heart leap for joy. The music. The presents. The excitement! The bows and gifts and paper. The Christmas Eve service. The Christmas program our church has. The packages coming in the mail. The birth of our Savior. The joy, the salvation, the HOPE He brings. Each little thing each year just made my heart leap for happiness and joy.

This year...

it came a bit differently.

Joy? Oh yes. I have a niece! Who has given me so much joy and thankfulness. Her present is precious :)

Grief? Yes. Pain? Yes. Sadness? Yes.

She's everywhere.

"Where one is born, another leaves, branches on the family tree..." She's in the music.

I distinctly remember the picture frame I got her for Christmas last year, it was black...and white...with a picture of us. She's in the presents, the gifts.

I stood on stage this weekend with all the kids, dressed in their black and white, singing with all the passion in their hearts, "Born is the King, it's Christmas!" She once stood beside me when I was in children's choir. She's there too.

I can see her worshiping, arms lifted, in her seat the Sunday before Christmas- rejoicing that 2,000 years ago the Savior was born for all of us. She's at church.

Finding joy this Christmas season...it's hard. That joy that was there last year- it's not the same.
______

I wrote that post about a week ago...I was in a hard spot. I've been thinking about what I wrote- and then it hit me, sitting in church Sunday...her favorite place, it's like she's closer there.

It hit me...she's in the music, in the gifts, in children's choir, she's at church...

I had been saying it over and over again....she's here. Yes, she's far away...very very far, and no I can't text her, can't run to her and hug her...but in a way- she's here with me every day.

No, it doesn't really make sense how she's still here- but she just is. Some days the hurt is unbearable, I look at her face in pictures and I just want to cry...but other days, there's a weird kind of joy...not the "Oh my goodness I'm so happy!" kind of joy...but joy. Somehow in the pain of today as I write this, in the pain of each day- joy.

I think it's because I know in a while, I'll see her again- I'll be with her and we will get to celebrate the Savior's birth together once again- in the best possible way, praising him together.

This verse has been my best friend lately, "He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” Revelation 21:4

My friends...that's heaven. That's where she is. And oh what a glorious Christmas she will have this year.

So for today...I'm comforted by the thought that I will see her again, and we will get to celebrate Christmas together...And I'll choose to love, to serve with joy, to worship His name just as she is now- right at this very moment.

The BEST Thanksgiving gift :)

10 years ago a thirteen year old girl walked in our front door. Little did we know what a big part of our life she would play.

Over the years she kept coming back to babysit, she kept coming to church...and she kept meaning more and more to each and every one of us.

I remember the time, when I was about 5, we painted ourselves with finger paint- like our whole bodies. And the house was spotless when mom and dad got home. 

I remember the time she came with us to the beach, William slept in her room every night and she got horribly sunburnt on the beach because she wouldn't wear sunscreen. 

I remember when Sonia came home, she came over to see her, I remember the look on her face when she saw Sonia for the first time. 

I remember the day she brought her boyfriend over the first time, we went swimming. I remember the day she asked me to be her bridesmaid and wear that beautiful green dress. I remember when my dad walked her down the isle, tears filled my eyes. I remember the day we stood in the driveway and she handed me a bag of baby stickers and asked me to make their baby book, "You're going to be an aunt!" She said. 

I remember how over all these years, we've grown closer and closer...and now, we're just family. My parents consider her their daughter, she's part of our family. She's my sister.

I remember sitting in the hospital lobby yesterday waiting...and waiting...and waiting...

And then around 5:10 we got a text, "She's here!"

I remember the first time I saw her, my heart filled with joy- I'm an aunt! I couldn't stop smiling, she was so beautiful.

So...I am SO SO SO VERY proud to introduce to you my little niece, 

Harper Elizabeth Land 

I think she's just about the prettiest, most precious thing EVER. Being an aunt so far is pretty much the best thing. 

Proud daddy, with his beautiful baby girl.

My favorite family of three. 

I just love her so much already, she's already brought so much joy to my life. I can't wait to hold her little self today.

So, over these years, our love for Amanda has grown and today...we're all so proud of the newest little Land...the newest little girl in the family. And we can't wait to have a baby at Christmas this year.

Amanda, Nick and Harper- I love you guys!!! Can't wait to watch miss Harper grow and see what the Lord will continue to do through your precious family. Thanks for giving me the best thanksgiving gift and letting me play a part in your lives.

Love, Aunt Bailey :)

Thanksgiving: part 2

As this Thanksgiving approached oh so quickly, I knew it would come with mixed emotions.

It's the first Thanksgiving without my Paige.

And it's painful.

It hurts.

But I look at things...and here's how I've been seeing them lately.

I've been so thankful for the time I had to know her.

For the all the time she invested in me, I wouldn't be me without her.

I've been thankful that she chose me, then 9 year old, to not only invest in but really be a friend to. And over the years...we were more than friends, we were sisters.

I'm thankful the Lord let me have her for as long as He did.

For all the lessons she taught me...about boys, about loving on kids, about life, most importantly about God.

She taught me that it's okay not to be perfect, she knew she wasn't perfect. And she was okay with that...but she continually made an effort to fix things, to make herself more pleasing in His sight.

I'm thankful for her love of life, her joy, and her love for her Savior. 

I'm thankful that on the 22nd of July I got to spend many, many hours with her, doing one of the things we were most passionate about (SWTA).

I'm thankful for the special days we spent together...even though we never got to have one this year.

I'm most thankful for the legacy of love she left behind. So many people know her name- and why? Because she loved life. She loved God, she told people about Him. She left behind an example to follow. One that I have been striving to follow, praying that He would use me like He used her. 

So this Thanksgiving...in the midst of grieving, He has still given me things to be thankful for.

~Bailey

Thanksgiving: part 1

As Thanksgiving quickly approaches...many thoughts come through my mind.

So this is Thanksgiving: part 1

This time next week, we will be celebrating three years with our sweet Sonia Grace.

THREE YEARS!

It seems quite impossible really, not the fact that it's been three years, but the fact that she hasn't always been here. It seems like she's been here forever, she asks questions and says things now..."When I was in mywanda(Rwanda) you came to get me and you brought me home."

Oh, how much she has changed over the past three years.

She came home, she could barely speak any English, now she carries on full conversations, tells endless stories. There's barely any baby talk left. And it's so sad, I miss my baby girl.

She came home with barely any hair, it's now long enough to do braids with beads. And she loves it!

She's tall now. And she loves to wear her boots "that are just like sissy's." She loves to wear makeup, which only consists of mascara and a bit of eye shadow- but it makes her feel like a big girl- like sissy. She doesn't like to be held, unless she's upset or hurt. And she only let's mommy rock her, if she let's her rock her at all, because, "Mom, I'm a big girl like sissy, I don't need to be rocked anymore, remember?" She loves Doc. Mcstuffins, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, and Jake and the Neverland Pirates. She does preschool with mom each morning when we do school. She can read words like, "CAT," and "TOM." Oh, and she has "4" loose teeth(by loose, I mean barely wiggling, but still)

In the blink of an eye, our Sonia Grace has gone from this:

To this: 

Sonia Grace, I'm so thankful for you. I'm so thankful for the little lady you are becoming. I'm thankful YOU are my sister. That each morning I get to hear you say, "Good morning Sissy!" I'm thankful for your joy, your little stories, your sweet excitement for baby Harper...and your little self. Even though sometimes it breaks my heart, I've loved watching you grow up and mature. I love you a whole lot, sweet girl of mine. And I'm so very thankful for you this Thanksgiving.

Love, Sissy

I just love them...

So... in less than a month...

Sweet baby girl will be here...

And oh my word, aren't they just the cutest?

Love them so much. And can't stinkin' wait to meet sweet Harper!

This joy the Father is gifting me with through them is just priceless. So, so, thankful.

~Bailey

P.S. Jessica over at The Making of M.O.M. took these pics...how lovely :)

On her 16th :)

To my best friend....

In the whole world...

On her 16th birthday!



HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! I LOVE YOU!

More than Beauty loves Beast.

More than Mickey loves Minnie.

More than Donald loves Daisy.

More than Cinderella loves Prince Charming.

More than Jasmine loves Aladdin.



More than Sleeping Beauty loves Prince Phillip.

More than Flynn Rider loves Rapunzel.

More than Bo Peep loves Woody.

More than Ariel loves Eric.

More than Simba loves Nala.

I just love you :) And I'm so thankful for you!

~Bailey

Refreshing...

So we went to the mountains.

Just for 24ish hours.

But still.

We got away, as a family, just us.

Yesterday morning I sat on the swing on the front porch/patio of the cabin doing my quiet time while watching the sun peek through the trees.

It was breathtaking.

Up there....I could think. I felt peace. I didn't feel rushed to go places or see people. It was calm.

For the first time in two months...yes, it's been two months...and how it still hurts just as bad and how I still miss her just as much, I have no idea...

I could think clearly, I knew what peace felt like, and I could miss her without worrying about putting on a brave face for other people.

It's a great place up there, the mountains.

But I couldn't help thinking...I wish we were at Boone...visiting her.

But I rested in God's promises, and his BEAUTIFUL creation right in front of my eyes.

We had campfires. We had s'mores. I swung in a hammock. I did school outside all day. I even worked ahead for today(which was so nice).

I thought about her often. And how she gets to see God smiling over his creation that he made. How she gets to watch the trees change colors from up above. How I hope that she is proud of me that I'm living life joyfully again. Smile again. Laugh again.

I could miss her without being sad. I could remember her. Think of her.

It was a glorious 24ish hours with the family.

A refreshing 24 hours. It's amazing what 24 hours can do- seriously.

And I come back refreshed, ready to face today and tomorrow...and whatever comes.

And I know that God will always refresh us just when we need it.

Like he did for me.

~Bailey

P.S. Emily Grace's birthday is Monday...and I'm SO excited! Woo hoo! So I'll be back soon :)

Somehow....

Sunday night we stood behind the stage and held hands as we prayed.

We then walked onto the stage, took our places and began to sing.

The heaviness of missing her lifted, just for then, as I began to praise my creator.

I sat at the piano, playing and singing passionately to the One who is, "mighty to save..." to the One that can, "move the mountains."

I was able to worship my Creator for who He is, without thoughts crawling back into my mind.

I was able to think, "She has the best seat in the house...I bet she is so proud...I can hear her saying, 'God, God, come look at these kids! Look what they are doing for you! See her, yeah, that's my Bailey,'" without feeling sad.

Somehow...it seems when I open my heart for worship...I feel free. And happy. And I can miss her without being sad.

At the end of our worship night we walked off stage and as I was hugged and praised for what we had done...I thought..."This wasn't for me. I didn't have fun because people were here to see me play piano or my brothers and my friend play guitar...I had fun because my Creator loves me enough to let me worship Him and lead others in worship to Him!"

Because somehow when I'm in God's presence, worshiping Him, I can smile. I can be happy. I can feel comforted. I can feel her.

And I smiled that night. And I laughed, as I have done many times these past few months, but this time...my heart was just...it was just different.

Because somehow in God's presence...I can feel Him moving easier. I can feel Him surrounding me. I can feel Him loving me...and saying, "Paige saw you tonight. She loved it. I loved it so much more. Because you are mine, and you worshiped me tonight with no hesitation. You didn't care what others thought. You were worshiping me with your whole heart. And I love you dearest child."

When I'm worshiping- God feels closer. And because God feels closer- Paige does too.

And when Paige feels closer, somehow...I can feel God's love so much more.

I can really smile. I can really laugh. I can really have fun- when I feel His love.

And I'm doing it. More and more each day. Not every day. But it's happening. Happiness- it's there. Joyfulness- it's there. They may be hard to find...but somehow, even when you can't see it, they are there.

God's love- it's there, each and every day.

So smile. So be happy. So love others.

Because somehow- even through our sins and our horrible attitudes, God loves us each day. And he wants us to smile and be happy and to love others.

AND- Paige would be the one encouraging me, even through this hard time, to find joy. To find happiness. To continue to choose to feel God's love. Because that's who she was.

So I'm going to be like her.

I'm going to choose to miss her...but while I search for joy. And for happiness. And continue to choose God's love.

And if bad days happen...that's okay. And I've accepted them. They're part of the process. But after that...I'm going to continue to search for joy, happiness and God's love.

What will you choose this day?

~Bailey

Each day...

We stand in church.

I hear the beat...I know the song.

And I sing the words, my heart heavy, but somehow I'm able to praise Him.

"Great I am, Great I am..."

It was her song.

And I don't cry.

Because I can't.

And people don't understand why I wasn't crying.

I've done so much of it already. And sometimes...you just can't. Your heart is hard, you are angry at nothing in particular - just angry she's gone, angry she's not here to sing it with you.

The song ends...I take a deep breath...I have to keep going.

I walk up to my adult friend Melissa, holding her seven year old little girl, who is crying into her shoulder.

"She misses Paige." Melissa tells me. I hold my hands out for Haley to come into.

I stand holding her tightly in my arms in the worship center as people pass around us and she cries onto my shoulder, tears dripping onto my shirt. I miss her too, sweet girl, I miss her too, I think.

Her dad takes her to Sunday school.

I go to Sunday school. I try to look like I'm paying attention...but I'm so tired, I have no idea what my teacher is talking about.

I show Melissa a book of memories I made of Paige and I over the 6ish years I knew her. I still don't cry. I just don't have tears.

The rest of the day, I miss her. I do other things...but I miss her.

And every day, I wake up and my mom asks me, "You okay this morning?"

"Not really." Tears well in my eyes as she kisses me on the forehead. But I still don't cry.

I go through the day...missing her.

And missing her some more. Praying nothing reminds me too much of her. Because it just makes it worse.

I hate checking the mail...it reminds me of the giddy feeling I would get when one of her letters would come.

So I go through each day...thanking God he's giving me such strength. And loving Him...and relying on Him more and more. And thanking Him for the time I had with her and the relationship we shared.

And tomorrow night, as I lead worship with some friends, I will be praising God...picturing her in the audience singing along with her whole heart...no shoes on...her bible under her chair...and her heart completely sold out for her savior.

~Bailey

"It's okay, my child, my mercies are new."

I've come to grips with my life.

What's going on.

And I've realized...

Yes, she's gone.

No, my life will never be the same.

And yes, I will always miss her...forever and ever.

Did you hear that FOREVER?

I have a long time to remember and miss her.

I don't have to just miss her today, or tomorrow.

I can miss her forever- she deserves it!

But...even though today wasn't great...

Monday, Tuesday and most of Wednesday were good!

And before...it seemed wrong to have good days.

But I've realized...it's okay. That's all she would want...is for us to have good days.

There are days where it will hit- where the pain will be immense. And it's OKAY to grieve. It's okay to be sad. To remember her.

But it's also okay to have good days...to remember the GOOD times with her. The LAUGHS. The FUN times...that's all she was...FUN...and LAUGHTER!

So even though today wasn't great...tomorrow may be good- it may not be. But each day is new. Because HIS mercies are new each morning.

And this is what my heart says today.

What God is calling out to me..."It's okay my child, I am here, my mercies are new every morning."(Lamentations 3:23)

HIS mercies are new. Tomorrow is a new day. And sleepovers are SO MUCH FUN- so how can tomorrow not be fun?

I can miss her...and have fun...sometimes bad days are necessary- to get the feelings out, just to rant and be angry that she's not here...but happy days are good too, and we can remember her in those happy days.

Because she was happy. She was fun. She was full of laughter...even if it was a smoker sounding laugh :) But it was HER laugh :) And I miss HER laugh.

But I'm SO thankful that His mercies are new tomorrow. And that I can grieve or be happy or have fun or be sad. But whatever I feel tomorrow...He's there. And His mercies are new.

~Bailey

This time...these days...

This time...it's hard.

These days...are different.

I don't get text messages from her encouraging me.

No letters from her that make me giddy.

Our relationship, it was different. Yeah, she was my mentor. She was my friend. But she was so much more than that. Even though she was five years older than me- she was one of my best friends. I have my best friend who is my age- Emily Grace...but then I had Paige- my older best friend. And this may sound silly- but she was like a big sister to me.

She was the most perfect big sister any one could ever ask for. She was always there. Always texted me back. Always sent me letters back. Always spent time with me.

And so, most people just saw us as friends. And now, in these days, they see me missing a friend.

They never saw us as sisters; as best friends just because I was so much younger.

But I am missing my sister.

I am missing our relationship.

I am missing my best friend.

There are only very few people who understand.

Emily Grace- my best friend, Melissa, Diane, Mary, Cathy, Jessica, Grace...they all get it.

But it still hurts.

I still miss her. Even though they comfort me.

And these days....I miss my sister, my friend, my mentor...my best friend.

And that's all.

~Bailey

1 month....

"Paige went to sleep last night, and she never woke back up. She went to heaven this morning." I sobbed for hours.

It's been a month.

The longest month of my life.

Yet it seems like yesterday when she left us.

I'm still hurting just the same.

I'm still crying.

I'm still asking- "Why?"

I'm still taking life day by day, and even though it's hard, I'm putting one foot in front of the other.

And it's hard to keep going when it seems like so many people around you, except for those she was closest to, are just moving on with their lives and I'm over here crying all the time because my heart hurts so badly.

I'm choosing to cling to God's word and His promises, one of the hardest things right now.

I still miss her just as much, if not more.

And I still want the same thing as every day that has passed.

Paige.

"There was a time when life was simple,
life was beautiful,
oh it was a brighter day, oh it was a brighter day.
Now every step is met with struggle, and I'm not strong enough.
I need to know it's not in vain, I need to know it's worth this pain.
So tell me when the winds will change,
Oh, oh, oh, come rush in like a hurricane,
come lead me through the flood and flame,
don't let me walk away...Till we see brighter days...
Oh this is not the end of me. No pain is not the enemy.
I'm just learning how to change, oh, oh, oh
won't you keep me on my knees until you have a hold of me and we see brighter days...
We see brighter days.
'Till we see brighter days."
-Brighter Days, Eddie Kirkland

~Bailey

Paige...

I miss you Paige. Your voice. Your laughter. You.

Love, Bailey.

She's all I want.

I want to write, to tell you all how I am.

But I really don't have any words to describe my feelings right now.

I'm tired of questions.
I'm hurting.
I'm overwhelmed.
I'm tired of how busy we've been this week- but hey it's reality.

School starts Tuesday, and I really don't know how in the world I'm going to do it. I don't. My mind explodes every time I think of it.

I miss her.
I want to just text her and talk for hours.
I want to get giddy when a letter from her is in the mailbox.
I want this to show up when my phone vibrates, "Paige :):)"
But it's not.
My heart hurts.
I want to sit beside her at Perfect Blend on our special day together.
I want her to get really excited about my book and how far I've come with it.
I want to walk in downtown Lexington as she takes pictures of me and anything that looks cute.
I want her to be here, to be there for me.

I just want Paige. That's all I want.

~Bailey

I miss her.

I think I'm ready to write again.

I want to be happy, I want to wake up and be happy and not be continually grieving.

But at the same time I don't- because I'm scared I will forget her. Forget the sweet memories we had. Forget how much love she showed me. Forget how much I love her.

Every morning I wake up- she's the first thing that comes to my mind.

"Paige is gone." First thought, every morning, without fail.

She was my mentor. My friend. My sister. She was so much to me.

Yesterday, I thought- "Hey! I want to talk to Paige!" Got out my phone, flipped it open and grief filled my heart yet again knowing I will never have another texting conversation with her about nothing in particular, just talking about life. I will never get another letter from her. Ever.

And I know how happy she is, and how she would want me to be happy. But I just can't. It just hurts too much.

My biggest fear is not about my own life, about the future or what is to come. It is forgetting her. Forgetting everything that she meant to me. I cling tight to the memories... the pictures... and the letters we shared.

I'm fearful.
I'm angry at nothing in particular.
I'm broken.
I'm hurting.
I'm tired of questions.
I'm ready to wake up from this horrible dream.

But it's reality. Horrible reality that is my life.

I don't want to move on. I want to miss her forever.

I miss her so much. So so so much.

~Bailey

Oh and sorry my blog is so depressing right now.

Paige Elizabeth.

We finished strong.

As many of you know, my dearest Paige Elizabeth went to be with Jesus on Tuesday morning, July 24th 2012.



No, we don't know why. Yes, we are all confused. And, yes we are all asking questions.



She planned Summer With the Arts. She worked all summer towards it. And she saw one day. But everyone there agreed she would want us to continue, to continue what she had worked towards all summer.



And we did it. We finished strong. And as I watched the kids practice today I couldn't help but think how proud she is today of everyone at SWTA this week. And I told someone today, on Sunday night I will proud for her.



Yesterday was my birthday. It was one of the hardest days ever. We didn't get to have my special birthday time together...it was a very bittersweet day. And words can't express how much I miss her. Her hugs...she gave the best. Her smile. Her always encouraging words. Her love for Christ. Her love for life. Her love for children.



She changed so many lives. She changed mine.



Without fail, I have cried every day this week. And tears come to my eyes as I type this.

I miss her.

It hurts. It's been a hard week. 


But we made it. 


And I know we made her proud.

Paige- we miss you. I miss you. Thank you for everything you have ever done for me or taught me here. I love you. I'm really glad you learned to regret that haircut you got on your 18th birthday. I'm really glad you didn't make any dumb choices in your two years of college...and incase you are wondering I still don't think the whole night star idea was a very bright one. I'm really glad you chose to invest so deeply in me...to make sure I made the right choices, that I was hanging out with the right people, and that you took time to just talk to me, even if all it consisted of was me ranting to you. I wouldn't be who I am today with out you. I will never, ever forget you dear friend. And I don't know how in the world I'm going to make it without you. But I hope that as my life here goes on that I will make you proud...and grow up into the woman you have taught me to be.

I love you more than anything.
~Bailey Elizabeth

SWTA...Camp...and life!

CRAZINESS. INSANITY. EXHAUSTION.

That's my life right now.

I just got back from church camp Friday. It was an ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE week. I miss my small group and my kids at site sooooo much! But I am very glad to be back in my bed and eating non processed non cafeteria food. God moved in so many ways that week, he is such a great God. I learned and was reminded of so much and I'm so thankful for that week and everything he did for me and my youth group.

Summer With the Arts started today! Yippee! I  am the group leader for the 2nd and 3rd graders this week, (though tiring) they are so cute and I already love them so much! It was a really great day and I can't wait to see what the Lord does this week!

 
LUNCH TIME- SWTA 2012


Opening song time(I guess you could call it that haha)!


My brother and his biggest fan Allie :)

Anyway- just a glimpse of the day! Have a great week! But it probably won't be as great as mine :):)

~Bailey

Summer fun...and insanity!

It's been a crazy last couple of days...INSANE(which explains my extreme lack of posting). 

My cousins were in from Texas, and they stayed at my grandparents so we drove there several times last week. And Saturday we went to the lake! IT. WAS. SO. MUCH. FUN! My aunt could not move the next day- literally, could not move. 

 The house some church members were loving enough to have us over at!

The fantastic tube and all the cousins, (from L to R) Jman, Hannah, Hope, Sarah, Bailey, Sonia, and William.

A super cute picture of Sonia!

Dad, Hannah and I!

Sarah and Sonia jumping in the lake!

A little tubing action!

Hannah and I riding on the back of the pontoon!

Sonia and her new best friend Alex :)

Overall, it was a very fun day! I think I was one of the only ones who came out not sunburned, and not sore! And even though I am very tired from such a long and insane week- it was lots of fun and we made some Pinterest crafts! This weekend is going to be kind of crazy- but lots of fun! Anyway- have a great rest of your week! 

~Bailey

Tutus and Hairbows....

Source: lemontreecreations.blogspot.com via Julie on Pinterest

Hairbows...

Source: weheartit.com via Bailey on Pinterest

Tutus...

Source: via Bailey on Pinterest

And baby girl goodies...

Because baby Land is a........GIRL!!!!! A very tiny, but very healthy baby girl :):):):)

This little girl is going to be so spoiled...my little niece...that's so fun to say :)

I could not be more excited!

Have a great Saturday!

~Bailey

It's Summer!!!

Even though it's technically been summer for quite some time, it's just now feeling like it.

And sadly the business of summer has hit, and though it is wonderful- it is sometimes a bit crazy.

We've had VBS this week, and I've been with three year olds, and wow. I am so tired. They are CRAZY. But I love them and I constantly have a cloud of little children surrounding me and about four children asking to hold my hands. Apparently they don't understand that when I have one kid on each hand it means I don't have any more hands to go around...so they just grab my arm instead. But I'm totally okay with it...mostly because I just love them :)

This weekend is going to be packed and I'm so excited about it!

I have a 16th birthday party for one of my best friends at the lake on Friday, Amanda and Nick find out that same day if lil' Land is a boy or girl(what do you think??? Tell me please!). I think that the baby (who is already moving inside it's mama!) is a boy! I plan to go scrapbook shopping Saturday for more scrapbook stuff for this lil' peanut...We of course have church on Sunday and who knows what else it will bring!

Oh, but yesterday- I finished Little Women. It was tragic. But yet amazing. Very bittersweet. And that's all I can say. I just LOVE that book.

Oh and it's almost been a year since the Taylor Swift concert :) Such WONDERFULLY AMAZING memories :):):)

We've been swimming a whole lot this week- in fact we are going swimming today with some friends!

I can't wait to see what the rest of the summer has to hold- and I can barely wait until Summer With the Arts!

What have you all been up to this summer so far?

Have a great rest of the week!!!

~Bailey

What a legacy

Today I went to a funeral. (no, not for Little Women)

And it was beautiful. I've only been to a few funerals, but this one was beautiful.

The gentleman that passed away loved God with all of his heart. And his son was my dad's youth pastor. And one of his other sons goes to our church(as did he, and his wife still does) and he has led my dad in many of the decisions he has made in church. Without both of these men- my father would not be who he is today. I owe so much to these men.

My dad did the funeral, and was able to tell stories of this family. Stories of how he loved Christ, stories of how he led his family to love Christ. Stories of his perseverance, his passion for life- his love to watch things grow.

And his wife of 67 years cried, as did the five rows of family in our sanctuary where he once sat.

What this man did, he loved his family but more importantly loved Christ so much that it carried down through many generations- he left a legacy. A legacy of what a man and woman who love Christ can do, how they can raise a family, how they can change so many lives. Because in those five rows of people sat in our sanctuary, he gave them each a gift- he taught his children to love Christ and they taught their children to love Christ and they taught their children to love Christ.

What a legacy. What a beautiful legacy.

Don't you want to leave behind a legacy like that? Don't you want to leave behind a huge family who all love Christ with everything they have, because of YOU?

I know I sure do.

I want to work hard, with perseverance, to leave behind a legacy like that. To love Christ like that.

And I know that not only did Mr. Avis Tobin leave behind an incredible legacy, but today as you read this, he sits at the throne of God praising HIS father today- because he's home.

~Bailey

I guess everything ends...

Have you ever read a book, and it was so good you wanted to finish it, but didn't want it to end?

I have, twice now.

Oh, Little Women. I feel like part of me is dying.

I have way less than 100 pages left, such a small portion of the book. Ya'll, I've read 100 pages since MONDAY. I just love it, I feel like we(the book and I) are emotionally attached.

I know, it's sad, but not for me. Books, reading, writing- they are my passion(and Jesus, and my friends, and my family, and card making but that's besides the point.)...I love them so.

And my dream is not only to have a book published, but to be as good as a writer as Louisa May Alcott. I cherish her writing, I get consumed with her characters and the life they live. And(spoiler alert) when Laurie proposes to Jo and she refuses him, it KILLS me every.single.time. And yesterday as I read that chapter, I almost cried and you know I never cry. They are supposed to be together...anyway...

I feel like I know the deepest feelings of Jo, Beth, Amy, Meg, Laurie and all the other fantastic characters. In fact, if Laurie proposed to me right now, I'd say yes.

I just love it. And I want to read it over and over and over again. I don't care what other people say, I feel like these characters are living right around me.

I've read this book twice now, and I would start it again as soon as I finish it(but I'm not going to, don't worry).

I feel like part of me is dying...and I'm so sad to finish the book, but every good, great and wonderful thing has to come to an end at some point. So it might as well be now.

As I have learned so much about faith, love, family and writing from my favorite author of all time....grieve with me, as I read the last pages of my beloved Little Women.....

Have a wonderful rest of your week and weekend!

Oh, if you haven't read this book- you MUST read it!

~Bailey

Dad

To my daddy on Father's Day 2012,

I love you more than you can imagine.
Thank you for the example of Christ you are to me and to so many others.

Thank you for everything you do for us. Thank you for loving Amanda like your daughter, because without that I wouldn't have my big sister.

Thank you for buying me special treats and taking me to get a milkshake after a horrible day of school.
Thank you for buying me and my best friend tickets to Taylor Swift.

You're the best, seriously.
And sadly you have raised my standards so high(which is a great thing) I don't think I'll ever find a husband- and then I can blame it on you!
Even though your little girl is growing up quite quickly right before your eyes, please know I will always love you with an unending love and will always, always be your little girl.

You will be the best "papa" to lil' Land- I'm sure of it.

I love you.

~Bailey Elizabeth

Happy Father's day everyone.

You want to see, don't you???

So...I've been blowing up pinterest lately with things I want to get/make for my little niece or nephew :)

Do you want to see some of them? Yes! Good!

#1

Source: media-cache8.pinterest.com via Bailey on Pinterest

I've got to have some credit :) Isn't it so cute! LOVE it!

#2

Source: childrenwithswag.tumblr.com via Bailey on Pinterest

If it's a boy...how stinkin' cute! He would be the most handsome lil' man EVER!

#3

Source: via Bailey on Pinterest

And if it's a girl :) AHHH!

#4

Source: indulgy.com via Bailey on Pinterest

Because (if it's a girl) she will have PLENTY of hairbows, thanks to her aunt :)

#5

Source: Uploaded by user via Bailey on Pinterest

How funny is that! Love it!

And that is way less than half of it...just thought I would share my excitement with you :)

Have a lovely weekend!

~Bailey